Almost three years ago, due to moral and physical health issues, I made the decision to become a vegetarian. Shortly thereafter, I began having bizarre dreams two or three times a month; dreams in which I would sinfully and uncontrollably devour chicken patties, double cheeseburgers, or strips of grease-saturated bacon. I would awaken with a guilty conscience, running my tongue over my teeth, frantically searching for any trace of animal flesh or the carcass breath it would have left behind.

Last week's dream found me at McDonald's. The restaurant I affectionately referred to as "McMurder" would prove itself to be the perfect scene for a crime. I had placed my usual order for a Big Mac without meat, and the next thing I knew, I was staring down at an arrangement of batter-coated, deep-fried, assorted chicken parts in a box. The smell of McNuggets taunted and teased my hungry stomach. Convinced that no one was looking, I picked up the remains of the innocent bird and took a bite.

Suddenly, images came pouring into my mind. Terrified, plucked chickens ran around headless, blood spurting out of their jugulars and onto dirty factory-farm floors across America. It occurred to me that I was probably eating someone's daughter, and possibly someone's mother. As my teeth once again sank into the flesh of the rotting bird, I thought to myself, "this is wrong, this is SO SICK!", but I couldn't stop. Eating one nugget after another and hating myself more with each bite, I could even feel the grease building up in my arteries and the cellulose attaching itself to my thighs. The smell of fried flesh attracted me in such a way that caused me to be more disgusted with myself than ever before.

I awoke with a burden on my conscience and an incredible yearning to purge everything evil out of me, but I knew it would never all come.


 - from a paper i wrote for my high school senior english class. my teacher commented that i had a "great sense of revulsion" and gave me an A :)